Movie of the Week: Ted 2

When Ted came out in 2012, I went to see it reluctantly. I like Family Guy, every once in a while… So, I wasn’t sure how Seth MacFarlane would come about to making this movie. But I did see it, it was watchable, though by no standards brilliant.

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Last week, when I was still in Portugal, I wanted to go to the cinema with my 13 year old nephew and a friend of mine. The problem was that she didn’t want to see The Terminator, which was fine, and he didn’t want to see Magic Mike XXL, because, well, he’s a 13 year old boy! So, the movie we all agreed on: Ted 2.

My expectations were beyond low (I saw A Million Ways to Die in the West, and that is time of my life that I’m never getting back!), so I was pleasantly surprised that most of the movie was kind of enjoyable, and maybe it’s because I can’t remember a single thing from the first one, but I thought this one was better.

The main plot of the movie is about how Ted is not recognized as a person, but as property, which leads to civil rights court.

After a few good laughs the movie became kind of boring… this is an almost 2h movie, the sex, pot and disgusting jokes become tiring when you hear them over and over again. I mean, I like those jokes as much as the next guy, but come on, seeing a 44 year old man and a teddy bear smoking pot for 2 hours?!

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What I liked – there were a couple of moments when I just couldn’t control myself:

  • When Ted catches John’s porn.
  • Liam Neeson on the grocery shop.
  • The sperm bank scene… yeah, that one!
  • Tom Brady.
  • The Stand-up bit (though I’ll get back to it in a second).
  • All the cameos, they were nice.
  • The New York Comic-Con fight (I think the whole theatre heard me when I said “There’s a Dalek!”).

What I did not like, at all:

  • That intro. What the hell was that? It looked like an opening of the Oscars… why oh why?
  • All the pot smoking… man, really?! I don’t know… is that normal?! Is John’s goal in life to be with someone who would smoke pot with him? Seriously? I worry, because this will be big amongst teenagers, so, is this the message? You can smoke pot all day, drink and masturbate and your life will magically be OK?
  • The sub plot of Donny and Hasbro. The movie was way too long, and even though some of these scenes were funny, it did nothing that could not be achieved any other way.
  • Sam L. Jackson, I mean, Amanda Seyfried. I love this girl to bits, but her character… no, just NO! And I’m sorry, who thought that pairing her with Mark Wahlberg would be a good idea?

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  • I really liked the “depressing suggestions” during the stand-up, but most of them were so America-specific. I got them, because I’m up to date to all the scandals and so on, but I would bet that at least half of the people from other countries who go and watch the movie, don’t even know who the Kardashians are…
  • The repetitions of the jokes, I think if they had made the movie a bit shorter, this might not even be an issue, but as it is, it was.
  • Lack of character growth… from the “let’s have a baby to save our marriage” to everything else.

That all said, my 13 y.o. nephew totally LOVED IT! He thought it was spectacular… his 31 y.o. aunt was not convinced at all. It’s very watchable, it will make you laugh, but only if you don’t think too much about it.

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